Thursday, April 04, 2013

A glimpse of the inside...

I'm realizing more and more, the older I get, that there is a more expressive person on the inside of me than I've let be on the outside of me.  As a kid I was super shy except with my family...even there though, I held back.  Moving away at 17 to go to school and being forced to get out of my shell a bit definitely started the process of change.  Over my adult life certain friends have encouraged me to let go even more, whether through being who THEY naturally are and hugging me whether I looked like I wanted it or not, or by just giving me a safe place to be expressive.
I'm noticing it in music now...I love soft, quiet worship.  I love harmonies and piano and acoustic guitar.  I love songs like this...

...but then I hear a version like this, and my soul cries YES!!!!  This is how it needs to be sung!

And suddenly my kitchen gets a little louder and I can't help but dance around and lift my face and close my eyes.  THAT is what my heart sounds like!  Intense, loud, expressive, there are even hand gestures in there :)
And in the middle of it I think, "Man, I can hardly wait to run up to Jesus and give Him a BIG HUG!  By that point all my insecurities will be gone, all my reservedness will have vanished, and I can let the beat of my heart show on the outside without any second guessing."
*happy sigh*
How I long for the day :)

Thursday, February 07, 2013


I still remember when Riker and Trinity were little and the cute way that they each talked, little ways that they would say words that made us smile so much we didn't have the heart to correct them.  Riker would point as we passed by a Tim Horten's asking if we could get a donut from Tim Portens :)  Trinity would beg to go to a Resternaunt and tell us about how Papa works at a Hopistal :)
And now we have we sat eating lunch today I realized that I'm really going to miss the day he no longer talks about eating his Weggies, or says Prease when he wants something.  I love when he talks about Yitto things that are important to him like Sky-Yanders and Yightening McQueen.
Every year is so precious :)

Saturday, January 26, 2013

After all...

Verse 1
You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

Verse 2:
You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Bridge:And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

This song brought me to tears a few times this week, so full of promises!  For me.  For people who were heavily in my prayers this week.  I had to put it on here so that I didn't ever forget it....

Monday, December 24, 2012

Twas the day before Christmas...

...and all through the house
all the children were stirring
and maybe a mouse :)
The oldest 2 cooked their own breakfast with care,
then even fed Sawyer, our little bear.
Mom and Dad lazed around in bed for an hour
but there's only so long a parent can cower!
Up got the mother to water the tree,
wipe someone's bum, maybe brew some tea.
Brew some tea?  Wrong house!  Get the Starbucks and hurry!
It's Christmas Blend time, this Momma can scurry
when there's coffee to brew
breakfast to make,
presents to wrap,
4 pies to bake!
For now though the house is so nice and quiet,
Mark's reading to Riker stories of Hobbits
and goblins and orcs and a bright shiny ring
and Sawyer and Trinity are into all kinds of things.
Later today though we'll sing Christmas songs,
read a great story and then go along
and celebrate Jesus' birth with our friends
then back home, eat lots of snacks and then send
3 little kids, hopped up on sugar, to bed
in hopes that all that food that we fed
them will not affect our precious sleep
and maybe, just maybe, they won't make a peep.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night
may all of your days be merry and bright.
May you understand the wonderful gift that God gave you
when Jesus, His Son, He sent here to save you
from all of your sin, FREE, CLEAN, made  BRAND NEW
and all that He want in return is just YOU!
He likes you, He loves you, He wants you to know Him,
Make this a great Christmas and leave your heart open
for His love to enter, to teach you, to change you
to hug you, to help you, to bless you and keep you!

Merry Christmas!

Love, The Westmans


Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Born is the King...

I've been such a scrooge lately.  I haven't started Christmas shopping.  I have no solid ideas for gifts for people.  We haven't settled on our budget.  I'm stressed.
I've been listening to Christmas music secretly when Mark's not home (ok , it leaked out a few times when he was home too, teehee) and though I felt mild warm fuzzy feelings, I just felt like my heart wasn't in it.  I can't celebrate Christmas like that.
I love when every time I look at a nativity scene or hear a CHRISTmas song I get a tingly excited feeling.  I LOVE the wonder that comes with the realization that GOD became MAN.  That He intimately knows that life we lead because he's walked it.  I love that Easter is already in my mind when I think about Christmas.
Today I was searching for songs, planning for Sunday Morning when I came across this gem that I've never heard before.  After singing and grinning and generally acting like I'm 5 again, I could care less about Christmas Shopping stress!  Thank you LORD, I'm praising YOU this Christmas!

Born unto us this day a Savior Gifted from heaven to a manger The hope of the world A light for all mankind All of the earth rejoice It’s Christmas time So lift up your voice and sing out His praise It’s Christmas Born is the King, rejoice in the day It’s Christmas Make a joyful sound It’s Christmas Let His praise resound It’s Christmas Goodwill to all the earth And peace divine All of the earth rejoice It’s Christmas time It’s Christmas time So lift up your voice and sing out His praise It’s Christmas Born is the King, rejoice in the day It’s Christmas Make a joyful sound It’s Christmas

Monday, November 12, 2012

Love isn't a feeling...'s a choice.
Or so the saying goes.
The thing is, it IS a feeling!  A beautiful glorious heart palpitating feeling that makes you want to be better, do better, hug more, say sweet words, be close...the list goes on.
Sometimes we don't feel loving.  Our kids are crazy, my husband is strange, my friend is thoughtless, the cashier is rude...I'm not feeling it.  Love feels dead.  There's nothing there.
THAT is when love is a choice!  That's when we have the hard decision to make, am I going to go with what feels good right now?  Or am I going to love when I don't feel like loving and aim for something down the road?
This is when I really think that only God can achieve the desired outcome.  I cannot love people on my own.  I feel stuff.  I'm all over the place, and if I ran my life on my own, following MY life would have looked very, very different.  And so I plug into God and I ask Him to do what I can't and love through me when I think it's impossible.
And I think I'm going to change the saying to, WHEN love isn't a feeling, it's a choice!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012


It was so easy when our kids were little, when something is not good for them I just said "no".  If they disobey, I put them in time-out or give them a consequence.  End of story.
As our kids are creeping up to the tween years I'm quickly realizing that my approach is no longer going to work.  Kids want to start making their own decisions, their own mistakes.  They want some say, some control.
It's terrifying.
How in the world do we teach our kids to discern in this world of grey areas what is right and wrong, helpful or not helpful, Godly or leading them down a destructive path?
How do we keep up with 3 kids thoughts and feelings and direct each one in the way they should go?
Parenting is a much bigger job than I thought when I was 25, and it'll bring me to my knees more times than I'm gonna be able to count I think.